Is it possible to still be a professional musician after becoming a mom?

Roughly three months ago, my husband and I welcomed our first baby. It’s been a wild and wonderful journey since then, to be sure, as we’ve settled into our role as parents and learned oh-so-much about caring for a baby. Even though I knew a lot from my younger siblings being babies and the extensive amount of babysitting I did from high school through grad school, I’ve discovered there’s still been a lot to learn! Changing a diaper might’ve been a breeze for me right away, but we’re still figuring out nap time three months in.

And, of course, there’s been a shift in me. I’m no longer the woman I was prior to becoming pregnant with my daughter. I’m a mom now. My brain has changed to adapt to motherhood. There’s an identity shift that I’m undergoing, which is not necessarily a bad thing! I think it’s good to have these from time to time in order to better ground myself in the truth of my deepest identity, that of God’s daughter.

But Two questions turn in my mind in regards with my music. What role does Music play in my life as a new mom? And Is it possible to still be a professional musician after becoming a mom?

The last orchestra concert I played in just so happened to take place the day I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. It was almost as if God was signaling the end of a season and the beginning of a new one: evening rehearsals and concerts are pretty much out of the question for the near future, as I’m exclusively breastfeeding and my daughter only wants me at bedtime for now. That will change, of course, but this current reality likely will come back again sooner or later, if God continues to bless us with children.

We moved states a few months before I had our daughter, and the full studio I’d built up and taught was gone as a result. I haven’t taught a lesson in almost a year. Should I go back to teaching, at least a little bit? I do think I will, but when I reflect on the idea of teaching again, I don’t feel called to rush headlong into it.

I’d begun playing at church regularly again after we moved and before I had our daughter. This has been put on pause, but I’m looking forward to adding that in once or twice a month after Easter.

Composing seemed impossible for a bit. Where would I find the time to sit down? But then I heard on a podcast about how compound interest doesn’t just apply to finance. It also applies to anything in life, including our creative interests and life goals. Just writing for five minutes a day is better than not at all. And so I’ve begun to take up composing again, one measure at a time (almost literally).

I’m at peace about where I’m at in life as a musician, truly. I’m okay with so much of what I used to do taking a backseat for now. Life has many seasons, and my current season of having a brand new little one isn’t necessarily adaptable to typical musical pursuits. And I’ve truly been at peace with this.

And yet, Sometimes I hear the organ playing a majestic postlude after sunday mass and it brings tears to my eyes – not for its beauty, but because it stirs an ache in me. Where does music belong in my life as a new mom?

I asked the Lord this question just a couple Sundays ago as I sat teary-eyed at the end of Mass yet again. It’s a question I’ve asked many times before, but always felt met with silence on God’s end. But this time, I felt an answer was given to me:

“introduce music to your daughter.”

As I write this out, I almost have to laugh – music education seems to follow me into every season of my life. My parents are music educators, and I went into music education initially but then left the program because I realized classroom education wasn’t my calling. Yet I fell in love with private teaching after that, leading me to build a studio during grad school. And now that I’ve left my full studio behind, here I am, being tasked with introducing my daughter to music.

Playlists of Bach’s keyboard pieces, acoustic praise and worship music, swing band tunes, and film music resound through our home at least once a day. I sing to my girl and pat rhythms on her tummy and feet. Music is a core part of humanity, and I get to be the first person to share this gift with my daughter. I get to be a music educator in a new way.

And, at the end of the day, being a professional musician isn’t something that’s dictated by how much music I’m doing on a regular basis, or how much I’m being paid for it. I earned two degrees in flute performance – hard-earned degrees! – and nobody can take away from me the knowledge or skill or experience I gained through those degrees. The season of life I’m currently in can’t take any of those things away from me, either. It’s easy to think otherwise, especially when I see the current accomplishments, positions, and gigs of my peers with whom I went to school with.

But my motherhood isn’t capable of crushing my musicianship. It’s actually capable of quite the opposite.

My life might not be capable of holding evening gigs for the time being, but I am capable of finding new and creative ways of engaging with music, both on the level of being a professional musician and of simply being a person. And when I do get to play my instrument, I can bring my motherhood into the experiences I draw on when making musical choices.

The idea that becoming a mom will take away from a woman’s abilities to be a professional musician is honestly outdated and narrow-minded. It may (and often will) limit typical opportunities, but it’s also an experience that has the ability to push a woman to be more creative and broadminded in how she engages with music and her professional abilities. Some women may feel called to primarily engage her abilities within the home. Other women may find an integration of “typical” work and motherhood are the best fit for her and her family. But regardless of what path a mother takes, choosing to engage professional abilities within the home is of no less value than engaging with them outside the home.

And when the time comes to engage with traditional jobs and gigs – for it will come eventually, because little people grow, often more quickly than one can realize before becoming a parent – there will be a greater sensitivity to the music itself because of the sensitivity to a child’s needs that motherhood requires.

So yes, it is possible to be a professional musician and a mom. It may look very different than what it did before motherhood, depending on the person, but motherhood can’t take away the status and abilities of being a professional musician. It even has the capability to enhance one’s abilities, if one leans into the challenge. And that’s a beautiful reality, indeed.