Embracing Silence
Mozart is often attributed as having said, “The music is not in the notes, but in the silence between”.
A similar sentiment was often expressed by one of my college professors. She expressed, often and emphatically, that “the qualifying difference between a good musician and a great musician is the way in which they treat their rests. Anybody can shape a noise, but few artists can shape a silence”.
It took me many years, and many uncomfortable, unsure practice sessions before I finally felt like i understood what this meant, and how to execute it. As I learned each new piece of repertoire, my focus shifted from shaping my voice, checking my intonation, and driving a forward motion into my phrasing. These things were the makings of a good musician, but I wasn’t satisfied with just being good. I spent hours in front of the dreaded mirror (singers, you get me), casting a judgmental eye on every movement of my face, my posture, the way my body language carried through my phrasing even after my voice had ceased to phonate.
At the beginning of this process, it was awkward at best. I’d spent so many years thinking of my voice as my instrument, that it was completely foreign for me to perceive my body as any sort of extension of this. It felt too vulnerable. My voice was a safe way of communicating, but on its own, it was limited.
And so, I was forced to expand my understanding of communication as an artist. My job was not merely to make art that was digestible and pleasant on a basic level. My duty was to communicate Truth about the human experience- sometimes uncomfortable, raw, and difficult to comprehend. There was no possible way I would be able to do this if I was holding back.
Bring on the discomfort. I wanted to master silence, even if it meant hours of starring at myself in the mirror and making minor tweaks to my tiny facial muscles, or drawing out the movement of my shoulders to better communicate an emotion hanging in the air. My artistry improved almost immediately, and although it is a lifelong process of continual learning, embracing silence has forever changed the way that I sing.
It has also forever changed my spiritual life.
Outside of music, I am surrounded by noise. While I get ready for work, while I commute to the office, throughout my workday, and even in my prayer. My mind is like an old jukebox in the corner of a diner, constantly cycling through tunes, with a melody always erupting from its speakers, even if no one’s around to hear it.
This Lent, I have challenged myself to try and embrace silence more often. If I, as a merely human singer, have realized the importance of silence for my own artistry, how much more important are the silences in which God, the Divine Artist of all of the universe, desires to communicate with me? How does He appear in quiet moments? What is it that He is trying to tell me in those silences?
I look at the world around me, and at all the beautiful blessings in my life. My friends and family, my sweet little apartment I get to share with my amazing husband, the lush, green landscapes that I get to enjoy on my commute to the office, a job that I would have absolutely dreamt about when I was younger, the pinkish orange sunsets that splash across the sky on my walk home. All of these, and many more daily beauties, surround me as a reminder that God is THE Artist to end all artists. No one has a greater eye for every detail than Him. Every detail means something, speaks to something of Himself, and that includes the silences
As I am not satisfied being a merely good musician, so I am also not satisfied being a merely good disciple. I want to be the very best disciple that I’m capable of being. I want to achieve the precise sainthood that God has called me to.
It used to scare me to truly embrace silence, because it was so foreign to me as a musician. Now, I see that in those moments of silence is truly when God speaks to my heart, in ways that are different, but equally important as the ways He speaks through noise.
Meet Him in the silence today - He is waiting for you.