Facing the Critics: Becoming the Master of your Mind
When you read the title of this blog post, what immediately came to your mind? Was it anonymous faces who write scathing reviews online for readers to accept at face value? Was it perhaps people you know in real life- your teacher, director, classmates or maybe even family?
Or was it yourself?
One of the things we’re trained to do as musicians, whether we realize it or not, is to actually be critics. It is actually an essential part of our job training, to be able to listen for mistakes in intonation, sounds that reflect tension, or just simple musical mistakes. This is a good and necessary skillset to have, but learning to manage that skillset is a whole different ballgame.
Learning to master our thoughts is a lifelong process, whether those thoughts are sinful, intrusive, fear oriented, overly-critical or otherwise negative and damaging to the people that God has created us to be. Oh, if only it was as noticeable wrong fingering on piano, and as simple to correct as a rhythmic dictation (provided it’s written in pencil, of course). But this is instead, I think, part of what the Gospel of Matthew speaks about in the “narrow gate” passage. It is the difficult, messy, sometimes confusing work of achieving sanctity.
But interestingly, in that quest for holiness, we also achieve our fullest potential as musicians. I could write essays about how only in becoming the people we are truly designed by God to be do we also become to best musicians we are capable of being. But perhaps that is a blog post (or many!) for another day.
However, what does this look like when we talk about our inner music critic? It would be damaging to have the inability to hear our shortcomings and mistakes, because we would be incapable of improving on our own. So too, if we give too much credence to our inner critic, it can paralyze us with perfectionism and unwarranted embarrassment. Balance, in this and so many things in life, is absolutely key.
Here are a few simple, everyday tips for taming the critic in your own mind:
FORCE your critic to speak kindly. You can be realistic, honest, and still kind. If you find yourself making disparaging comments in your mind, stop, analyze the most basic point you’re trying to make, and find a way to say it kindly. Speak to yourself as if you’re speaking to a child whom you love: in simple terms, with honesty, and with lots of love.
Practice mental prayer. This habit goes a long way in developing healthy patterns of thought and learning to master your own mind. It is easy to be distracted during times of mental prayer, to make it a habit to learn (patiently and over time) how to effectively employ mental prayer to build your relationship with God.
Make it a habit of listening to music every day JUST for the sake of enjoying it, and not allowing yourself to pick apart the areas for potential improvement. Most musicians I know struggle to sit in a concert hall, a theater or even Mass if there is live music without being critical of unfulfilled potential, perceived intonation issues, or even things as simple as posture. Again, it stems from our training as musicians, but the never ending quest for perfection will destroy our ability to enjoy the good. I promise, it won’t lessen your ability as a musician if you don’t nitpick every performance you hear. In fact, you may soon discover that it actually does the opposite.
Mastering your mind is a lifelong job. None of us will perfect the craft in this life, but it is a well worthwhile endeavor as we each forge our paths towards holiness and Heaven. Know of my prayers for you all, and please keep me in yours.
- Tara